When We're Not Getting the Attention We Need

Drawn from my archives
Like most other women I recognize love when my husbands pays attention to me. I love it when Michael walks through the door and straight into my arms. He does that every single day of the week. I also like it when he kisses me on the cheek and tucks me in before heading off to work in the wee hours of the morning. It’s his way of expressing his love.


If you’re not getting the desired attention you need from your husband, it’s likely that you’ll search out other ways to fill that space. Some women take to shopping thinking that more “things” will bring them peace. Others spend countless hours socializing on the net, or filling their face with food, and for some the unfortunate alternative is finding another man.

Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. ~ James 1:14-15, (NIV)

That is a strong verse, but when we consider that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents¹, it’s time to seek out a cure for this epidemic.

Remember the story of the Samaritan woman who came to draw water? It’s found in John chapter 4. While the disciples were out grocery shopping (yeah, they were grocery shopping—check it out), Jesus met a woman at the well, and asked her for a drink. He knew that this particular woman had a void inside her that led her to thirst for something more in her life. It moved her to return to the same proverbial well time and again hoping to fill her pain with something that would last—something that would quench her thirst, until finally He came offering an everlasting well of hope.

It’s possible that this void resulted in failed marriages time and again, since we know she had five. One can only guess, but we do know that the same Spirit of life in Christ Jesus is there for us too.

Earthly things can fill the void for a moment, maybe even a few years, but when we are quenched by the Spirit of comfort we’re satisfied from within. When one experiences a spiritual satisfaction there’s no longer a need return to the well time and again.

A bad marriage can feel like a spiritual vacuum at times, since weak relationships create that constant need to be filled. That’s a great thing when you enter into a deeper relationship with Christ. Not such a good thing when we run into the arms of another man.

We’re complicated beings, aren’t we? The simple solution is to replace our wants with His (more of you, Lord—less of me), and in doing so we enrich our marriage. Because God has ordained wives to be ministers in our home, the love of God becomes a strong foundation on which to rebuild.

It’s one thing to stick to a marriage because you feel that it’s your duty as a wife and mother, but it’s an entirely better thing when we purpose to add virtue to our lives.

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. ~ 2 Timothy 2:22, (NIV)

A noble woman is an attractive force, ladies. I know it, you know it, and so do our husbands. Put God first in your life, seek righteousness in all that you do, and let He who offers an everlasting well of hope become your all-in all!

¹National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.


You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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