Sheila Gregoire knows how to talk about sex! I have been following her blog To Love, Honor, And Vacuum for a long time now. She is a Christian author who knows the value of sex in marriage. She is inspirational and easy to read. Leave a comment and you may win a free copy of her new ebook!
Here is a post written by her ~
I’m addicted to Diet Pepsi. I don’t drink a lot of it: usually only a can a day, and I make myself wait until 11:30 before popping it open. But that urge hits me by 10:45.
I turn to Diet Pepsi because I’m not a coffee person. Nevertheless, I’m a big fan of caffeine. And so I drink Diet Pepsi, knowing that caffeine and aspartame are bad for me, because I figure the pick me up outweighs the potential dangers.
I know what I need to do: I need to sleep more so I don’t need the caffeine. That, however, requires effort. And so I turn to the quick fix.
How often do we do that in our marriage?
When we need to lose weight we watch what we eat. We stop eating out so much and start cooking healthy foods. We exercise. And we know it will take time.
If we want a new job, we go back to school. We take extra training. We work hard at our courses. We know that will take time, too.
But when our marriage is blah, what do we do? Often we take the Diet Pepsi approach—we have this need for intimacy and connection and fun that we should meet through our marriage. When that doesn’t happen, we throw ourselves into something else, like hobbies, or homemaking, or church activities, or our kids. We take the easy way out. Rather than putting the huge amount of work in to fixing our marriage, we turn to something else instead.
Perhaps it’s because it’s not always obvious what work we should do. How do you get yourself to magically connect? How do you heal weeks and months and years of holding things back, of feeling disconnected, of feeling hurt?
It isn’t easy. But that's why I wrote The 31 Days to Great Sex. It gives you the time you need to sit down, talk, and connect again. And so many couples have told me--the exercises were wonderful! But what really changed our marriage was that we learned how to talk about this!
That's what I believe in. Sex is supposed to be more than just physical; it also connects us emotionally and spiritually, too. But too often sex gets put on the back burner because it's so wrapped up in our feelings of self worth and identity, and it's so easy to feel hurt. That's not what God meant to have happen.
Think about this: if marriage is supposed to reflect the deep intimacy that God feels with us, then shouldn’t marriage be a beautiful thing? And sex itself is also supposed to reflect that urge to know and be known. Yet too often sex becomes an obligation, something that we do because we know we have to, but not something that we do because it helps us feel invigorated, alive, or even loved.
I think God wants more for us than that. He doesn’t want sex to be an obligation; He wants it to be a celebration! And while sex won’t solve all the problems in our marriages, it does lay a foundation of connecting physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s how we become one flesh.
And sex wasn't just designed to make you feel physically rapturous; it also makes us feel intimate with our husbands. It makes us feel close. It makes us laugh. It even helps us to sleep better!
Perhaps it’s time, then, for us to do the hard work—that work that really does pay off! And The 31 Days to Great Sex can help you with that. You work through it with your husband, but don’t worry; it’s not like everyday is about a new trick to do in bed. Not at all! Instead, it’s a journey of communication you take together to help you, step by step, feel more intimate both inside the bedroom and outside of it.
So if you're just too exhausted for sex; if you're sick of him pestering you; if you can't figure out what all the fuss is about; take a deep breath and tell yourself: I may not understand how great sex is right now, but I know that God meant for it to be great. And I'm not going to stop until I figure out how that's actually possible! Because it is, ladies. Don't lose out on it.
Billions of people have had sex. I’m not sure how many have actually made love. I hope through this 31 Days to show people how amazing--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--making love can be.
Leave a comment about why intimacy is important in your marriage to enter to win one of two giveaway copies of The 31 Days to Great Sex! But don't be afraid to buy it now by clicking this link. If you win, and you've already bought it, Sheila will send you a copy of her paperback The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, an even better value!
I turn to Diet Pepsi because I’m not a coffee person. Nevertheless, I’m a big fan of caffeine. And so I drink Diet Pepsi, knowing that caffeine and aspartame are bad for me, because I figure the pick me up outweighs the potential dangers.
I know what I need to do: I need to sleep more so I don’t need the caffeine. That, however, requires effort. And so I turn to the quick fix.
How often do we do that in our marriage?
When we need to lose weight we watch what we eat. We stop eating out so much and start cooking healthy foods. We exercise. And we know it will take time.
If we want a new job, we go back to school. We take extra training. We work hard at our courses. We know that will take time, too.
But when our marriage is blah, what do we do? Often we take the Diet Pepsi approach—we have this need for intimacy and connection and fun that we should meet through our marriage. When that doesn’t happen, we throw ourselves into something else, like hobbies, or homemaking, or church activities, or our kids. We take the easy way out. Rather than putting the huge amount of work in to fixing our marriage, we turn to something else instead.
Perhaps it’s because it’s not always obvious what work we should do. How do you get yourself to magically connect? How do you heal weeks and months and years of holding things back, of feeling disconnected, of feeling hurt?
It isn’t easy. But that's why I wrote The 31 Days to Great Sex. It gives you the time you need to sit down, talk, and connect again. And so many couples have told me--the exercises were wonderful! But what really changed our marriage was that we learned how to talk about this!
That's what I believe in. Sex is supposed to be more than just physical; it also connects us emotionally and spiritually, too. But too often sex gets put on the back burner because it's so wrapped up in our feelings of self worth and identity, and it's so easy to feel hurt. That's not what God meant to have happen.
Think about this: if marriage is supposed to reflect the deep intimacy that God feels with us, then shouldn’t marriage be a beautiful thing? And sex itself is also supposed to reflect that urge to know and be known. Yet too often sex becomes an obligation, something that we do because we know we have to, but not something that we do because it helps us feel invigorated, alive, or even loved.
I think God wants more for us than that. He doesn’t want sex to be an obligation; He wants it to be a celebration! And while sex won’t solve all the problems in our marriages, it does lay a foundation of connecting physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s how we become one flesh.
And sex wasn't just designed to make you feel physically rapturous; it also makes us feel intimate with our husbands. It makes us feel close. It makes us laugh. It even helps us to sleep better!
Perhaps it’s time, then, for us to do the hard work—that work that really does pay off! And The 31 Days to Great Sex can help you with that. You work through it with your husband, but don’t worry; it’s not like everyday is about a new trick to do in bed. Not at all! Instead, it’s a journey of communication you take together to help you, step by step, feel more intimate both inside the bedroom and outside of it.
So if you're just too exhausted for sex; if you're sick of him pestering you; if you can't figure out what all the fuss is about; take a deep breath and tell yourself: I may not understand how great sex is right now, but I know that God meant for it to be great. And I'm not going to stop until I figure out how that's actually possible! Because it is, ladies. Don't lose out on it.
Billions of people have had sex. I’m not sure how many have actually made love. I hope through this 31 Days to show people how amazing--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--making love can be.
Leave a comment about why intimacy is important in your marriage to enter to win one of two giveaway copies of The 31 Days to Great Sex! But don't be afraid to buy it now by clicking this link. If you win, and you've already bought it, Sheila will send you a copy of her paperback The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, an even better value!
Therefore a man shall leave his father
and his mother and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
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