Dear Darlene,
How do I convince my niece whose two brothers have both passed away recently that God still cares about her? I'm having trouble finding the right words.
To give you a little background on this, one brother died of a drug overdose a year ago and this past May the other died at age 30 in a motorcycle accident.
Concerned Aunty
Thanks for your letter. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to offer her comfort and understanding. After all it's hard for any of us to understand young or old.
A couple of years ago I wrote an article for a friend who was was dealing with a tragedy in her family. I'd like to share a bit of those thoughts with you with a hope that I don't repeat something you've already read. It was written with a mother in mind, but I think that you'll be able to relate in much the same way.
_____________________
From my archives...
I see a young child so damaged by the effects of radiation that she’s barely recognizable, while the words “inoperable cancer” pierce our ears. I see children starving in a world where we eat and drink without thought. I see young girls working on the streets, sold for the price of drugs, while adults abuse them in ways that one can only imagine, and I see three young boys crying out from the depths of a broken heart because their father has passed on too soon.
In this world where sin, death, poverty, perversion and pain are a vivid reality, we are tossed to and fro by the winds of “Why?”
Why did I have to lose five babies to miscarriage? Why is my dad living with fifteen inoperable brain tumors? And why are children hurting in this world? If I grieve without understanding, how can a mother possibly teach her children to understand?
The winds of “why” are strong. They have the potential to pull one into the deepest pit of depression and another into the abyss of despair. What we believe about God and what we teach during these moments of pain and confusion determine how we set our sail in the storm.
High winds will definitely change our course in life, but the choices we make during these times of darkness are the pivotal points that determine where we will finally dock.
As parents we have a responsibility to guide children through times of trouble and to catch them when they fall. They don’t understand how to grieve anymore than we do, and so they look to us for those cues that will lead them through pain toward peace.
How can we explain pain to our children when we don’t have the answers ourselves? We start by honestly saying, “I really don’t know.” Man doesn’t have to understand the ways and the “whys” of God. His wisdom exceeds ours, and while we wish we had the answer to the question "why?" We don’t.
What we do know and what we can offer our children is hope. Time does heal our pain, yes, but God holds the power to start that healing today. Doubt has the ability to drag us into a pit, but faith has the power to lift us out of that pit and keep us from falling back in.
We don’t weather these storms alone, anymore than the disciples did when Jesus was sleeping on the boat through the storm. Upon waking him, they quickly learned that our God is ever present and always in control.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. ~ Psalm 46:1-3, NIV
_____________________
Another thing to remember is that our time on earth is a drop in the ocean of eternity, and that our bodies are merely a vessel that carry us through. The more that we set our eyes on the things of the Spirit we lose focus on the things of this world.
I can't help but to be reminded of a chorus we used to sing when I was growing up. How true it is!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
And so I firmly believe that if we want our children to take their eyes of this world and all of the pain that life brings with it, we help them to focus on the eternal blessings of God.
With that said I'd like to close with this scripture from Hebrews 12. It reminds us that God is a Father who isn't working against us. Even during those times when we don't understand why, we can lean on the promise that He does what is best for His children because of His love.
I'm quoting from The Message because of it's simplicity:
I can't help but to be reminded of a chorus we used to sing when I was growing up. How true it is!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
And so I firmly believe that if we want our children to take their eyes of this world and all of the pain that life brings with it, we help them to focus on the eternal blessings of God.
With that said I'd like to close with this scripture from Hebrews 12. It reminds us that God is a Father who isn't working against us. Even during those times when we don't understand why, we can lean on the promise that He does what is best for His children because of His love.
I'm quoting from The Message because of it's simplicity:
My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline, but don't be crushed by it either. It's the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
Hebrews 12:4b-11, The Message
I'm putting you on my prayer list asking that God will give you wisdom during this time.
You are loved by an almighty God,
Visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here
If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife
Check out my book, The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet
0 comments:
Post a Comment